Parties, Parking and Fancy Ham

Just got back from a fairly lame fashion party/fundraiser. The idea itself was good, but the organization was lacking and the store it was held in was too small. Plus the parking was just weird. Susan almost got buried alive a'la The Crypt Keeper trying to get the damn SUV in the underground parking lot. Very Indiana Jones of her.

Kind of a disapointing night, because I love the shop itself and the chicks that run the place are fab, but the idea was lacking that spark to really make it work. Charity is hard. Fashion in Calgary is hard. Fashionable Charity in Calgary is nigh impossible.

What I'm rocking come February.

They had some fancy Spanish ham cut straight off the hock and a fig/nut pate that was actually delicious. Meat is grossing me out more and more lately, so it was Manchego cheese and fig paste all the way. I felt like a toast point-- spreading all those toppings on my fat little paws because I can't eat bread.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't like that a) I can tell where they cut this off the pig, and b) my thigh is bigger.

Did you know that Kazakhstan has a fashion week? Well they do.

Time Travelling Farmer's Market

So this post took a while. Hence the name. Like Dr. Who but with less time-lording. More forced posing and beef jerky. Just keep reading. You'll get it.

The view from here. Jurgen waits.

I know what you're thinking. Fur is so hot in summer.

Ended up at Millarville Farmer's Market. It was quite fun. Lots of local stuff and, as usual, I wore the totally wrong shoes. I almost broke my ankle at least 15.6 times, and Dave was horribly embarrased. This is why I do my farmer's market shopping in platform cork sandals when I'm single.

Some little girl just stroked out over this.



Serious. It's Couture Wool Barbie. All hand-knit by some baba from Millarville.





Land of many meats. Alberta.

The only picture that turned out. Dave is not Annie L.

So here's what I wore. The shoes were almost suicidal given the gravel roads and "No dogs OR horses" aesthetic of the place. Needless to say, if I lived in the country I'd be dead by now.

I made this slammin' outfit. Well. The dress. Cobbling is beyond me. For now. The dress is 2 indian scarves sewn together, with chains and grommets added for straps, belted and worn loose. On a 30 degree Alberta late-summer day, it was perfect.



This is the obligatory artist shot of a horse's ass. I thought it was pretty cool.

In case you can't read the title of this charming booklet from olden times, it's called "Smith's Husky Chicks from the North". The best find of the day in the quaint Antique-Store tourist trap next to the Longview Beef Jerky Hut. As a husky chick from the north, I endorse this booklet.

And I don't even know WHAT these are, but they seemed so very Canadian in their precious lack of awareness of how uncool they are, making them thusly (by rule of La Hipsters), cool.

It's almost like a beaver and those 'rich people charity shoes' Todd's had sex.

Movie You Should See...

I went to see this movie last night with my dad. This is the first movie he's wanted to see in theatres since talkies were invented. So, me, my dad and his utterly-cute belief that popcorn still costs $2.50, all went to a picture-show. And what a picture show it was.

Cave of Forgotten Dreams is a  3-D documentary film by Werner Herzog, about the Chauvet Cave in southern France.

So it's a movie about a cave. A cave that just happens to hold the most well-preserved and earliest-known cave-paintings in the discovered world. These images look like they've just been etched onto the walls. The charcol is that fresh, preserved for over 30,000 years by a landslide that sealed this art off to outside elements. 30,000 years. Just let that sink in a minute. Less than 20 years ago, we didn't even have the internet. I can't even begin to think about time in that capacity.

This panel is one of the most famous; it is a smaller section of a large wall covered in animals.

The movie itself is a technical wonder, the filming was limited to a few hours a day due to dangerous conditions within the cave (gases, etc) and the French government's strict laws around impacting the historical site. The public is not allowed access to the Chaveut Cave due to the damaging effects our presence has on these works of art. So this is the closest most of us will ever get to experiencing this wonder first-hand.

3-D technology has never seen a better use in this luddite's opinion-- for the first time I really found value in having a third dimension in film; you can see how the artists used the caves udulating walls as the canvas for their incredibly realistic paintings.

Look at the way the artist created movement with the repetition of the rhino's horn. Amazing.

The images leap off the screen, animated by both the filming style and the artistry of the paintings themselves. They aren't simple scratches at a cave face... these are pristine, beautifully rendered artworks done by people who had not only real artistic perspective but self-awareness, humanity and I believe, distinct, spiritual souls.  

Go see this movie. And bring snack money, because your hungry dad wants popcorn.

In the Moment...

Dear Apples,

Here are a few things I'm enjoying/looking at/planning on DIY'ing, etc...

I am adoring these still lifes, and the site that I found them on.

I will be making these for Christmas. Take a mason jar, toss in some evergreens, add a handful of cranberries and then top up with water and a tealight. Easy classy Christmas chic. Sure, the cats might burn their moustaches off on them, but they've gotta learn.

(I found this at Pintrest, which is a deadly site. You've been warned.)

How writer-geek are these? I am just waiting to grow my claws out a little more, then I shall be attempting this. If I didn't keep my nails short for all my violin practing (ha ha), I'd totally grow them out ghetto-chic and rock the bling.

Apparently, this is the best carpet cleaner in the world. As we have old gross carpets and I live with a bunch of hobos, I will be trying it (especially if we invite the entire family over for Christmas dinner again and have to hide our filth in a belivable way):

1. Scrape up the liquid.

2. Sprinkle baking soda or cornstarch on stain to let absorb for 10 minutes and then vacuum.

3. Mix one tablespoon clear dishwashing liquid and one tablespoon white vinegar with two cups of warm water.

 

4. Using a white cloth, sponge the stain with the detergent/vinegar solution and blot until all the liquid is absorbed.

5. Sponge off with cold water and blot dry.

Now, I'm not saying I WANT YOU TO MAKE THIS FOR ME FOR CHRISTMAS, but I'm not NOT saying it.

I don't even know what to say about this, except for what the previous poster said. "If that means teasing your hair and parading about like you're hot shit with swans in the background, then that's what you need to do."

While I can't enjoy soba noodles anymore, I can still enjoy the artistry. The pure, pure fan-boy artistry.

In closing, I shall leave you with this... also from Pintrest.

I think we both know we're more than willing to go there-- in the name of adventure.

What I'm Doing NOW.

Dear Apples,

Right now I am doing this:

I know it looks like some sort of cesspool in an industrial wastedump, but in reality it is my attempt at Dries Van Noten's Dip Dye Denim. I got the idea from this girl, whose blog I seriously dig.

One $24 consignment store jacket, one bottle of bleach and one sink that needed cleaning. As Ramsey would say: "DONE".

(It may turn out amazing, or it may rot off my wrists on first-wearing. Either way, it was a more creative way to kill a Saturday afternoon than most.)

Also, I have bought a stupid pair of shoes.

A pair of shoes so stupid and beautiful and useless and amazing and must-have and what-the-hell and what-do-you-mean-you-can't-walk-in-those-shut-up and so very gaaaah that I promised if I did buy them, I'd start this fucking blog. We'll see how long that lasts.

Anyways. Let's get back to the shoes.

Now you see where I'm coming from. Anyways. I can't promise anything at this point, but I will try and keep you up to date on happenings and thoughts. Especially if my wrists do end up bleached and scabby, as that'd be more entertaining than usual.

The whole formatting thing on this blogger platform is pissing me off, so that's as pretty as this is getting.